Monday, August 25, 2008

Mirrors


Sabtu kmaren gw ntn film ini di EX. Yah.... kata ade gw seh nyeremin.. jadi gw pikir ya daripada ntn Superhero Movie mending ntn ini la ya...

Cerita nya seh simple, si Kiefer Sutherland tu polisi yang di skors gara2 nembak rekan nya sendiri secara ga sengaja. Jadilah dia depresi en alkoholik. Nah dia dapet kerjaan jadi nightwatch di dept store yang uda kebakar (cliche de banyak setan di tempat bekas kebakaran....) nah di dalem tu dept store banyak kaca yang gede2 gtu.. Nah di dalem tu kaca ada setan nya... Stela diselidiki, tu dept store dibangun di bekas ruma sakit jiwa (cliche cliche clicheeee) Nah... jadi lah dia berusaha nyelametin kluarganya yg ikut2an terancam gara2 tu setan

Overall, not bad la buat film horor barat. Yah seperti biasa, kalo film horor barat cuma ngandelin suara gede en ngagetin, serem nya seh gtu gtu aja.. yang maen si Kiefer Sutherland (yang maen 24). yah bole la...


Rating: 6.8/10

Anak Kecil Fashionista

Ga tau napa, sepertinya topik baju tidur kok kayanya lage 'in' banget ya? ckck.... baju tidur gw yg gembel itu aja dibahas.... yah gw tau seh, ini susah nya jadi selebritis... resiko hidup lah.

anyway, ngomong2 baju tidur GAP, ceritanya tadi pas gw mau ngajar ke tempat Suli, gw abis tidur siang. Gw males ganti baju lage jadi gw pake aja tu baju tidur. Baju tidur gw yang GAP ijo itu, tau ga? yang kata ratu iblis "ToCin". Yah intinya kaos polos warna ijo. Nah.... pas gw ampe sono, cuma ada si Calvin. Trus pas gw duduk, dia ngeliatin gw bentar trus ngomong

Calvin: Mister, hari ini pake baju baru ya?

Dr.B: Hah? oh ya? kayanya ga de. kok kamu tau?

Calvin: Abisnya ga perna liat mister pake baju ini

Pertanyaan nya, sejak kapan anak cowo kls 6 SD meratiin baju guru les nya? Jadi sekarang pekerjaan sebagai guru les dituntut selalu tampil fashionable? Buset.....

Beberapa hari yang lalu, si Dylan nanya ama gw

Dylan: Mister, kalo Massimo Dutti tuh dari mana seh?

Dr.B: (dalem hati) buset.... tau darimana ni anak tentang Massimo Dutti?

Friday, August 22, 2008

Rambut Halus di Daerah Kemaluan

Yesterday, i told all my students to memorize IPA. The topic: Perkembangbiakkan Makhluk Hidup. O O......

Damn... i knew this chapter has some 'interesting' topic about human reproductive system.. Secara ni topik favorit murid murid gw... Dari mulai ngapalin tu bab, si Gerard Shearer ( ini beneran namanya, bukan cuma sok keren ga jelas) menimpali smua omongan teman nya dengan kata sperma. Contoh:

Calvin: Mister, blajar yang mana sekarang?

Gerard: Sperma

James: Mister, sel telur diproduksi dimana?

Gerard: Sperma

Lalu sampailah kita pada pembahasan tentang ciri sekunder pertumbuhan laki-laki pada saat pubertas.... yah the basics la, suara membesar, tumbuh rambut halus pada kemaluan, organ kelamin membesar, etc. Sekarang, tiap kali ada yg ngomong tumbuh rambut halus pada kemaluan, smua nya cekikikan... cape de.... eh setelah si Gerard, giliran kembaran nya si Gary. Tiba-tiba aja nyeletuk

Gary: Eh si Edward uda tumbuh tau lu rambut halus nya. Engko gw juga uda tau (engko nya SMA klas 1, ya uda la ya...)

Edward: (dengan ekspresi tolol dan muka memerah) hah? engga.... (sambil malu-malu)

Gary: Uda tumbuh tau! Mister, menurut mister uda belom?

Dr. B: GA PENTINGGGGGG!!!!!! (aduh..... TMI berat gw tau kalo si edward uda tumbuh jembut ato belom. Walopun gw seh yakin uda secara si Edward sebenernya uda SMP cuma ga naek kelas aja.....)

Gary: Kalo si Aldo mister?

Dr. B: (sambil mikir) Hmm ga tau de..... (Enough de percakapan jembut ini....)

Next, mimpi basah..... Kembali si Gerard dengan pertanyaan nya.

Gerard: Mimpi basah tu kaya ngompol gtu ya?

Dr. B: Yah mirip mirip gtu cuma ga banyak...

Gerard: Mister uda mimpi basah belom?

Dr. B: SAYA UDA TUAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Sungguh de, gw bingung.... gw uda kaya lage truth or dare en the topic is kapan gw mimpi basah....

ps: Setelah gw sensus, belom ada yang perna mimpi basah.....

Geylang Lor9 Frog Porridge

This is a new porridge place in Muara Karang. I tried this resto about 3 months ago and I just ate there bout 3 hours ago. The billboard said that it is from Singapore... Is it true? The menu is very limited. They only have 2 kinds of frog dishes to be eaten with porridge or maybe rice but the frog is so damn delicious. The porridge is Rp. 8000 per pot, it serves about 5 small bowls. The Frog with Ginger is Rp. 54.000 (2 frogs).

Porridge + The Ginger Frog --> YUMMYLICIOUS!!!!!!


I tried the chicken wing with terasi, it is also delicious. I forgot the price but it is around Rp. 20.000 for 5 wings.

A Black Sheep of My Failure

Di sebuah siang yang membosankan, tiba-tiba pembokat gw si Fatimah masuk kamar. Dia mau masukkin baju ke lemari mak gw... Pas dia mao masukkin kolor bokap gw ke lemari, gw baru menyadari satu hal penting!!!!! This may be the reason why i failed some of my classes!!!!!!


Ternyata, kolor bokap gw ditaro di lemari yang sama dengan smua text book gw. I wonder, is this why i failed gw Ob-Gyn?

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Potret Kemiskinan Indonesia part 3

Once again, Indonesia shows its remarkable achievement in hedonism. It is said that Indonesia is one of the most pathetic and poorest country in the world but i could guarantee you that is NOT true!!!


A PORTABLE TV IN AN ANGKOT (B 01 MUARA ANGKE - GROGOL)

Monday, August 18, 2008

Quote of the day

On a boring afternoon

(sms ringtone...)

Pudel perek: eh dut, loe tau jang geun suk ga?

Dr.B : hah? sapa lage tuh?

Pudel perek: itu yg maen Hwang Jin Yi...

Dr.B : gw ga ntn pud....

Pudel perek: kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!! aduhhh pengen gw gigit de....

Dr.B : Pudel!! Kontrol tu birahi

Jang Geun Suk

Creole

Creole is a chocolate pattisier at FX. Different from Death by Chocolate, Creole is more elegant and sophisticated while DBC is more generic. The smoking section is on the outside, it's like sitting on the balcony (with Jakarta's traffic + pollution, good luck smokers...)

1. Blanc White Chocolate (Rp. 32.000)
It actually a cheese cake with with chocolate. Not that delicious but acceptable...


2. Dome Aux Grand Marnier (Rp. 32.000)
YUMMYLICIOUS. It's a chocolate mousse covered in melted chocolate and the base is a kind of nutty sponge cake. The melted chocolate is really delicous, it's cold but it doesn't change into solid chocolate.


It also offers chocolate bars, like the one at Latellier du Chocolate. Looks delicious but kinda pricey...

Creole
FX Mall F2 #02

Foodism

Foodism is a restaurant owned by Indonesian movie star Dian Sastro. Yeah yeah... kemakan promosi seh... hehe anyway, quite nice. Not so big on the decor, limited menu and very very very ugly menu (the menu book)

1. Spaghetti Telor Asin (Rp. 60.000)
YUMMYLICIOUS!!!!! Telor asin? Love it. Spaghetti? Love it. The telor asin gives a rough feeling and a unique taste to the usual spaghetti. The garlic bread is also yummy, not too garlicky but buttery and kinda salty. The spaghetti comes with 3 big Udang Telor Asin and they taste really nice.


2. Lasagna (Rp. 45.000)
A standard issue lasagna but a little bit more sticky. The meat is too minced, i prefer chunkier meat on my lasagna. Overall, not bad


3. Fettucine Alfredo (Rp. 55.000)
Standard... Delicious but nothing special.


4. Raviolo Nero (Rp. 65.000)
A black ravioli with prawn and vegetable filling. This is the main suspect of my food poisoning!!!!!!!!!! Weird... Taste more like wonton than a ravioli...


5. Udang Telor Asin (Rp. 60.000)
The same taste as the spaghetti but eaten with rice. Yummy


Rating 7 out of 10

Actually, only the Telor Asin thingy taste really good, the rest are not bad but really nothing special.

Foodism
FX Life Style F.7
Telp: 25554238

Saturday, August 16, 2008

A dinner with a friend

After a million years of disappearance, Ms. J finally showed up. We decided to go to Chili's for a late dinner....

Ms. J: Eh B, kok gw berasa tamba gendut ya?

Dr. B: Hmm agak seh kayanya....

Ms. J: Gila ni, kebanyakan free dinner seh...

Dr.B: (dalam hati) buset.... loe liat aja porsi makan loe...

Dinner menu:

1 classic nachos
1 mushroom jack comba fajitas
2 ice tea

FYI, itu BUANYAKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! en abis ampe licin tu 2 2 nya.... bravo to Ms. J (masi bingung darimana asal nya perut loe yg semakin membengkak?)

Anyway.... Ternyata nachos di Chili's enak!!! Bole ni diulang kapan kapan xD

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Step Up 2: The Streets


Killing dance moves!! Unfortunately, not a great movie... There is no chemistry between the leading roles and the rest of the cast simply can't act. I think they are basically dancers and not actors. Anyway, quite entertaining. Great music combined with doped dance moves can never go wrong...

Rating 3 out of 5

Monday, August 04, 2008

The Mummy: Tomb of The Dragon Emperor

JELEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The worst movie of 2008.

GARING, CRUNCHY, CRISPY EN SANGAT GA PENTING

Ngantri tiket ampe rebutan, gw ampe bela2in naek taksi demi ntn tu film en hasilnya sungguh mengecewakan. Parah...

Adegan ga penting banyak banget! Jet Li jadi kaisar yg kena kutukan trus bisa berubah jadi naga kepala 3 trus jadi orang lage trus berubah lage jadi kilin, penting? Trus ada perang antara pasukan tanah liat dengan tombak en panah versus pasukan tengkorak yg tangan nya buntung pake pacul en cangkul (tu tengkorak ga penting di tenga perang betulin pala nya yg copot). Belom lage ada YETIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!! En ditutup dengan adegan hancurnya tengkorak jadi debu lalu di tengah debu ada siluet muka Michelle Yeoh en Russel Wong.

Harusnya tu film dikasi judul The Mummy: Crispy Crunchy Cliches Collection

Rating : 2.5 out of 5

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Quote of The Day

Pas lage mo ke EX tadi malem, gw ngelewatin puteran di pluit yg ke arah tol bandara. Nah disono kan ada banyak polisi cepe gtu tuh...

Polisi cepe: (ngomong ke Ratu Iblis) ayo donk Luna Maya, ayo.... terus jalan.. terus....

Ratu Iblis: Thanks ya Ril..

Lalu dalam perjalanan menuju EX dari Pacific Place, ngelewatin iklan Amway yg ada gambar Ronaldinho nya. Lalu si Ratu Iblis nanya ma Pudel Perek mau ga kalo ama Ronaldinho

Ratu Iblis: Nah Pudel, loe mau ga tuh kalo ama dia?

Pudel perek: Aduh... gw mikir mikir de kalo ampe jelek gtu

Ratu Iblis: Yakin Pud? Tajir abis lho Pud..

Pudel Perek: Nah, loe mao ga ren?

Dr. B: Iya Ratu, dengan duit nya dia, loe cari aja tuh gigolo yang secakep cakep nya

Pudel Perek: Iya tu ratu, dia maen bola, loe ngejar bola....

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Red Cliff


One word: FANTASTIC

I thought this movie would become some boring war drama movie with lots of 'artistic' scenes and 'witty' dialogue, but it's not! This movie kept me on my chair for 1.5 hours before my bladder finally gave in....

Some people said that the war scenes are boring but for me, love love love it. Lots and lots of blood and incredibly genius war tactics have made this movie stands out. The fact that it is based on "Sam Kok" just add the final touch. Yeah, I've already known what will happen (i read the book) but still, when i watched it, i kept on wondering what will happen next.

Although i don't like Tony Leung as Zhou Yu (he played it too macho and rough, Zhou Yu should be more handsome and sophisticated) and Takeshi Kaneshiro as Zhuge Liang (He is too young, I always imagined Zhuge Liang as somewhat older than that) but they both are very good.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Friday, August 01, 2008

Apa kabar Ms. Byakugan?

Tadi sore pas gw lage ngajar, ibu duit telpon gw. Katanya seh dia mau melancong kruma gw. Yah biasa de, gw kan ban serep sejati... pathetic... Anyway stela dia menelpon, murid gw si Santo en Horich nanya

Santo: Siapa mister yang telpon?

Dr. B: Temen... Itu lho miss yang waktu itu ngajar akuntansi disini..

Santo: Temen ato pacar...? Yang mana seh orang nya?

Dr. B: Itu lho... Aduh si Miss Byakugan

Horich: IYA IYA baru aja aku mau ngomong si Miss Byakugan

Santo: Itu pacar mister ya? Aduh sori ni mister, tidak bermaksud menyinggung pacar mister. Abis nya mata nya itu lho... ngejendol....

Buat yg ga tau apa itu byakugan, itu adalah special ability salah satu tokoh di Naruto... Nih gambar nya


Ps: ampun ibu duit....... ampun..... ampun.....

Quote of The Day

The women who appear to be the sweetest and the shyest are the ones that generally transform into sex-thirsty beast after a few drinks.

Source: Da Man Magazine